A Quest for Knowledge

Posted on: Mar 18, 2024

5 mins read

As I sit here, lost in thought, I can't help but wonder about everything. I mean everything - from before time to now. Not because I want to be god-like, but just to know. To learn how things were, see the truth, and understand history. After all, history is only the victor's narrative; the person with the power dictates it.

But what happens after I know it all? Will I be happy? Will I be sad? Will I be so full of knowledge that I will run mad? Or will it leave me feeling empty? Will I still have the will to live, or will I be disinterested in life?

How long would this even take? Would the price be death? Would I be in a coma for the enlightenment? Or will everything just be a dream of the night?

And then there's the question of privacy. If I knew everything, I would want to keep it to myself. I want to know for my own curiosity and to understand the truth. No one would believe me anyway. Imagine saying that the sky is green while everyone else sees blue. And they ask me to prove it. What do I say?

Even so, how can I confirm that what I know is the truth and not just a mirage? How can I be sure that this is what actually happened and not some cosmic being playing tricks on me, twisting it because of my thirst for knowledge?

And then there is the future - my future. If I were to know my future alone, would that knowledge bring that reality into existence? Because if I didn't know about it, then the future would be unknown, and I could shape it to be what I want it to be. But now that I do, I want to change it if I don't like it.

But what if I unintentionally create that reality while trying to change it? The more I try to achieve a better outcome, the more I fall into the reality I dread. If I hadn't known about it, would it still have happened? Would the result of my undisturbed steps be different from the possible future shown to me?

Should I go to Town Square every day if I know I will meet my soulmate there? Or would that diminish the significance of the encounter? Because everyone there is a potential soulmate. Do I live life normally? But how can I live a normal life after hearing about my future?

The world is so vast, and no one can explore it all in a lifetime. If I wanted to see it all, would the world be open to me if I exchanged that with my life? Would my spirit be allowed to roam and explore the world like my body could not, from the depths of the water to the endless space? Even as a spiritual being, I would still fear what lurks in the ocean's darkness. But wouldn't it be amazing to see everything no one has ever or will ever see?

Then, there is the question of what happens after death. What would I be able to do and not do? I would want to know things and see things. I would like to be an explorer of earth, sea, and space forever and ever.

It would take me forever to visit and know everything everywhere, though. But still, what would we do after death? Or will it just be nothingness? Void. Cease to exist. Would I become bored after a few hundred years of roaming? And if I were given this deal, wouldn't that be a sad afterlife? It might be fun initially, but I do not want to be alone for all eternity.

And I should believe in heaven and hell because I'm a Christian, but sometimes I wonder, what if they don't exist? Would I just cease to exist? And if they did exist, what would heaven be like? What would I do there? Can I ask questions, like "who created God? What was there before the void?" Will I be given answers? Will I be bored? Will I have my free will, or will every one of us be like zombies doing the same thing till the end of time?

What exactly would I be doing? Will who I become be different from who I was on earth? Will I inherit a new personality, a "holy personality"? And every other person, too? Hence, all of us are the same thing, all "holy personalities, one mind, and movement and all."

Or what if it's a loop? After the world is destroyed and the new world comes, everyone still has their old-world personality. Wouldn't it mean that one person or two could still do something wrong or sinful and spoil the "new earth" again?

That brings me back to the perceived holy personality. Do we all become the same and do the same, perfect in some way, hence making it so that we don't ruin the new earth and heaven? I don't want to be a zombie. I don't want to be like everyone else; I want to be me. But how would we all be? How would I be? I wish to know all these answers.

If only I could prepare myself for the afterlife. I am not talking about living a righteous life. I am talking about knowing exactly what it will be like and what to expect. If I could meet someone dead to tell me what the afterlife is like, I would. But at the same time, how do I know that the dead person I meet is real and not another being trying to trick me? I want to know, but I don't want to be gullible to cruel beings.

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