Note To Self

Posted on: Dec 24, 2023

2 mins read

I am poor.
My family is poor.
He is poor.
He will deny me.
He is not even mine.
He is not ready.
I am not ready.
My p isn't regular.
I can't always predict accurately.
They can use me.
Even if it's not intentional,
There is Spiritual and Generational.
The oaths and bonds it makes,
And it's just not worth it.
I don't even enjoy it.

I will be the one facing the consequences.
I will be the one with the worry.

I will be the one with the guilt, the sleepless night, the paranoia, the tears, the shame, the stigmatization, the humiliation, the struggle, the pain, the weight, the load.

It is my body that suffers not his.
My promises to God,
I can't even remember them.
I have to do better.
It's for my own good.
I am weak.
I dunno how to be strong.
Only one person is good for me.
Don't make him cry.
I might not have him now.
But I will soon have him forever.

I don't want to lose what I love for what I don't even like.
They are not my future so they are not worth it.
No matter how hot those few days are.

I will overcome it.
I just have to.
It is only a phase.
Soon it will pass.
And be in the past.

I should also pray.
Because I need it.
And in just one day,
I will finally be happy.

Originally written: 02/18/2020

Summary

"Note to Self" unfolds a raw and introspective narrative, revealing the inner turmoil of a woman navigating through fleeting relationships. The poem delves into the emotional weight, guilt, and consequences of impulsive choices, emphasizing the sacredness of one's body. It serves as a powerful reminder that genuine love is worth the wait, urging self-reflection and patience in the pursuit of a fulfilling and meaningful connection.

Note: This summary was generated with the assistance of AI, based on the poet's guidance and insights into the poem's inspiration and meaning.

Enjoying these pieces?

Subscribe to my newsletter for updates on new poems and musings. 📬