Note To Self

Posted on: Dec 24, 2023

2 mins read

I am poor.
My family is poor.
He is poor.
He will deny me.
He is not even mine.
He is not ready.
I am not ready.
My p isn't regular.
I can't always predict accurately.
They can use me.
Even if it's not intentional,
There is Spiritual and Generational.
The oaths and bonds it makes,
And it's just not worth it.
I don't even enjoy it.

I will be the one facing the consequences.
I will be the one with the worry.

I will be the one with the guilt, the sleepless night, the paranoia, the tears, the shame, the stigmatization, the humiliation, the struggle, the pain, the weight, the load.

It is my body that suffers not his.
My promises to God,
I can't even remember them.
I have to do better.
It's for my own good.
I am weak.
I dunno how to be strong.
Only one person is good for me.
Don't make him cry.
I might not have him now.
But I will soon have him forever.

I don't want to lose what I love for what I don't even like.
They are not my future so they are not worth it.
No matter how hot those few days are.

I will overcome it.
I just have to.
It is only a phase.
Soon it will pass.
And be in the past.

I should also pray.
Because I need it.
And in just one day,
I will finally be happy.

Originally written: 02/18/2020


"Note to Self" is a poem that tells a deeply personal and reflective story of a woman who is struggling to find lasting love amidst fleeting relationships.

The poem explores the heavy emotions, guilt, and consequences that come with making impulsive decisions, while also emphasizing the importance of valuing one's own body.

Ultimately, it encourages readers to be patient and reflective in their pursuit of genuine, meaningful connections, reminding them that true love is worth waiting for.

Note: This summary was generated with the assistance of AI, based on the poet's guidance and insights into the poem's inspiration and meaning.

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